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Monday, December 29, 2014

Cooking

The following post was written during I was in KK but I forget to post, so it's a outdated post but still fun to read.

Enjoy.

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I like to cook. I don't usually cook in Kuching because every meal is perfectly prepared when I'm home.

Since I lived in KK now and the food is incredibly expensive here, I have to cook myself.

I'm amazed by my cooking talent that almost every meal unexpectedly taste delicious, well, at least for me.

I'm not bragging but it really do. You can judge by looking at it, 色香味俱全啊!

Direct translate 色香味俱全啊! is "perfection with sex, smell, taste".

Just kidding. It's "perfection with colour, smell, taste".

If I cook, I insist to have one meat and one vege for my dinner. Vege is a must. If I'm out of vege, I'm only gonna eat instant noodles.

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Kailan with fishball and nugget.


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Cabbage with mushrooms and fried stuff.

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Canned spicy pork with xiao bai chai.

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Fried egg, nugget, sausage and vege.

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Fried rice.

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Sausage omelet with tomatoes and cabbage.

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Fried chicken with cabbage.

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Fried sausage with bread slices covered in sugar coating egg.

Then the other day I spotted Nutella.

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So my bread always have Nutella with it.

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Cabbage, fried egg with lak cheong.

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Green vege with omelet.

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Recipe taught by my sis, tomato mee with fresh tomatoes.

Incredibly tasty on first attempt.

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So nowadays I live in my new house, I'm still do the cooking.

It really waste time but it's fun.

I enjoy cooking because of the proud feeling after you finish cook your meal then it taste great, it's a great achievement for me.

I will pat pat my left shoulder with my right palm.

Good job JoJo, you did it again.

-closedown-


Thursday, December 25, 2014

Alien Battery

Last time, whenever I tried to charge my SE W810, it shows "Charging, alien battery".

Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App

That's weird, alien must be spying me for my awesomeness.

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The phone died afterward as alien noticed that I was aware of their appearance.

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Talking about my SE W810 classic phone, it reminds me how good TJM was.

He borrowed me portion of his PTPTN money so that I can buy this phone, I remember I'm short of that amount because PTPTN didn't banked in my money. So sweet of him~

Cheers.

-closedown-

Monday, December 22, 2014

Multiple Choices

I found out I usually like to have multiple choices in my life.

For early morning hot drink, I have selections of milo, tea and coffee  for my selection according to my mood.

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For cookies, I have many type of them so I will not get bored of single taste.

For example for Muchy cookies, I have these both type, and there's more in my drawers.

Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App

For bath shampoo, I got Shokubutsu and Dettol at the same time. I got really annoyed by the same smell so I bought the other one. I used Shokubutsuin the morning and Dettol in the evening.

And then I realized.

I might be need to have two girlfriends at the same time so I will not be bored FOREVER.

Sounds legit.

-closedown-

Thursday, December 18, 2014

House Stuff from China

Did I tell you I moved into my new house?

Just wanted to show you the packages delivered from China 6 months ago.

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They're for my new house and now completely installed.

I bought around RM3k for these stuff.

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Second time I bought around RM1.2k and nowadays third time around RM600.

Nowadays, most of my house stuff bought from China and Lazada.

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Most of the electrical appliances bought from Lazada, including my TV.

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Will blog about my house after I arrange my photos so stay tuned!

Cheers.

-closedown-

Monday, December 15, 2014

Gym

When I was in Tuaran, my friend gave me a card so I can frequently go to an apartment with gym facility.

I did went there a few times but I didn't really like it.

The gay manliness environment didn't suit me.

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I'm not sure why this uncle was walking around in gym with underwear/swimming trunk.

Imagine I'm using the equipment that he used with his barely naked body, covering with sweat.

I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that.

-closedown-

Monday, December 08, 2014

Best food in KK

For a man who tasted food from all around the places in Malaysia, I believe my taste bud level is higher than normal person's tongue.

I came to Tuaran to work and stayed there for almost 2 years and discovered that food in KK is overpriced but doesn't taste good, include the very famous Tuaran mee, Sheng Rou Mian and their seafood.

KK's seafood is great because of their unlimited stock and freshness. Kuching food is far better in terms of taste.

However, my friend brought me to a place to eat mixed fish soup.

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So far, it's the best thing I ever eat in KK. I never tasted something like this anywhere else.

Because of their unlimited fish stock, their fish is super fresh and taste is way too awesome.

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It's sold in an old kopitiam like this.

Kuching's mixed fish soup always taste like expired fish and the fish slices always 4-5 tiny pieces only.

Definitely worth to try compare to other famous food you know in KK.

-closedown-

Thursday, December 04, 2014

Nyan Nyan Nyan

10 hours of watching Nyan cat video...



I don't even know how to describe this video...

Then there's another person who spend 10 hours to watch this person watch 10 hours of nyan cat video.

I'm not sure human is evolving or what nowadays.

-closedown-

Monday, December 01, 2014

Love is Everything

So the other day I was chatting with a girl.

Everything was going fine until we talked about lies.

She claimed that a guy who lie is 100% a bad guy.

I totally disagreed on that and explained that according to my 28 years life experience, LYING is a MUST.

I gave her an example.

Let's say my wife is pregnant and fat like a cow, she ask me "Do I look fat?"

I will reply her of course not, you are still gorgeous to me.

I told her this is a white lie, we need to tell white lies most of the time in any relationship.

She replied me:" No, I will never ask such question, I don't want to listen to lies."

I came so close to took a picture of myself in this and send to her.

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For me, yeah, girls dislike lies but they are flattered when they listen to lies even though they know it's a lie.

They will keep asking questions like they are gaining weight or not after they realized their jean is getting tighter.

No matter woman or man likes to hear the truth, truth is painful to hear, that's what I learn from life.



Cheers!

-closedown-

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Cat's Potty Training

Going go get a cat and will train him for this potty training.



May the favor be with me.

-closedown-

Monday, November 24, 2014

Achievement Unlocked: Sutera Habour Run 2013

I participated in Sutera Habour Charity Run last year.

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Nothing special about the run since I ever blogged about the same charity run on 2012.

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It's not funny if I tell the same joke twice, lol. Kind of same experience.

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The sunset view still same awesome as of 2012.

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Run in Kuching doesn't have this privileged to enjoy the sunset view.

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This time, there some ladies with title which I don't know MISS what because too lazy to care.

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Took a few pictures then heading back.

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Seems like not only me who didn't care, other 6000 runners also didn't care at all. Poor girls.

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End of report.

Cheers.

-closedown-

Thursday, November 20, 2014

The Evilest Thing



Girls, next time if you have a serious fight with ur husband, if u bring bank books, clothes etc to go back to your parent's house. Don't be silly.

Listen carefully.

Bring the following items with you: aircond and tv remote control, his IC and driving license, car keys, change computer and wifi's password. Then go back to your parent's house.

Within one hour, he will learn what's his mistakes.

-closedown-

Monday, November 17, 2014

Break Up Motivation

If you came out from a bad relationship, here is a great article for you.

I like to read Taiwan's PTT articles, most of the time they can cheer me up!

Since this article is helpful for me, so I decided to translate it into English just to polish my English translating skill, I would appreciate Grammar Nazi's critic at the same time.

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Refer to the messages that I received from you all, I decided to write this article. All the love stories you all shared with me are unforgettable and heart breaking.

關於這篇的誕生,大概是因為收到了幾封站內信, 告訴我一段銘心刻骨卻又痛徹心扉的愛情故事。

I read your stories and they are sad and touching at the same time, thus I would like to share my experience and advices.

看了其實滿難過,卻又很有感觸,於是想分享一下我的經驗和心得。

When I broke up last time, I used two years to heal myself, and depressed for two years.

回想走出陰霾的這段回憶,我花了兩年多,也哭了兩年多。

In the beginning I just couldn't sleep well, I cried when I woke up, my tears never stop.

剛開始真的每天怎麼睡著的不知道,一醒來就是想哭, 鼻水眼淚流不停,愛深埋餛飩海。

Internet's shitty love quotes can easily made me cry, and I like sad songs, they made me cry like there's no tomorrow too.

網路上的一句狗屁愛情格言就可以讓我噴淚, 很犯賤的是我又愛聽悲歌,歌曲前奏還沒播完就淚如雨下。

The idea of suicide came to me, every cell in my body was devastating, I asked myself repeatedly what mistakes did I make, I wasn't that bad, except for her younger body, I fucking didn't lose anything to her.

我也曾經想不開到一個最糟的狀況,全身上下每一吋細胞都在自卑, 都在反覆問自己到底做錯什麼,我沒有比那位新歡差,一點也沒有, 除了那位女孩的肉體多新鮮個幾年以外,老娘明明什麼都不輸。

I believe there's must be some misunderstanding with him in my previous life so he came to this life to torture me. However, cheated guy always have the same excuse - we doesn't match.

我深信上輩子我跟他一定是有什麼誤會,才讓他今生來這樣折磨我。 然而,想劈腿的人的動機,原來用「新鮮感」三個字就說完了。

New love give them the spark, all kind of spark make their heart itchy, penis and pussy also itchy itchy.

新對象讓他們找到一開始曖昧的刺激, 各種酸甜滋味讓人心癢癢,GG(穴穴)也癢癢。

I thought I was being cursed, may be he wiped me with his semen before, if not why the fuck I loved him so much. But think of it, we loved our ex so much just because we're the one who dumped by them.

當然,我以前也曾懷疑自己被下蠱,可能衣服被他用洨抹在領口之類的, 不然怎麼會這麼死心蹋地非他不可呢? 但回頭想想,我們之所以會把前情人給神格化,只是因為我們是被拋棄的那方罷了。

To wake ourselves up, the first step is to know the FACT. That's they will NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! come back.

要讓自己覺悟,第一步就是要認清事實,就是對方絕!對!不!會!回來找你! 就算是強迫說服自己,也要有這個心理準備。

After four years of break up, I opened my computer and went through all of his photos while crying and cursing at the same time, I decided to delete all the photos.

過了四年,我才敢把電腦裡某個資料夾打開,把全部的照片都看一遍, 邊看邊哭邊笑邊咒罵,胃絞痛完後,我決定刪掉這些照片。

It's not easy to do this, after you press the delete button, the fucking computer will ask you to confirm one more time. "Are you sure you want to permanently delete these files?"

Yes, just press the fricking confirm button, he or she ain't coming back.

踏出這一步是很不容易的,連電腦都會再跟你確認一次。 「您確定要永久清空垃圾桶的所有項目?」 清空吧,永久就永久管他去死,因為那個他/她也不會再回來了。

I would like to thanks my friends who accompanied me all the time, listened to my complains about my ex boyfriend stories, and because of them I didn't disconnect my life, it took me two years to realize I can't be that stupid.

也很感謝人生中有幾個始終願意陪在我身邊的朋友, 聽我講著一遍又一遍前男友怎麼不去吃屎的故事, 讓我不至於蠢到把人生on line的伺服器弄斷線, 我多想兩年,才發現自己可以不用這麼蠢。

My parent gave me my precious life, for what reason do I need to hurt myself for a dick like that?

Love is constructed by time and trust, loyalty in a relationship is a basic element in love. You can't even define cheaters as a garbage, garbage will be very sad if they know you portrait it to them.

我也是人生父母養,憑什麼這輩子就要碰到這樣的男人來蹧蹋我啊? 感情的厚度是用時間堆砌而成, 在一段感情中不要心猿意馬應該是身為地球人可以做到的事, 那些隨著時間而讓自己腳筋骨便越來越軟Q, 腳踏多條船的章魚哥/姐,就不用說了,用垃圾來形容他們,垃圾也會哭泣的。

If you decided to put down your dignity just want to save a relationship like this, please, leave is your only choice. Giving up your dignity to a relationship is like a limbo dance, you get lower and lower.

而當你發現你必須放棄尊嚴來委曲求全這份感情的時候,瀟灑轉身離開絕對是不二選擇。 對感情妥協的代價就是換來自己的底線像在跳凌波舞一樣,越壓越低。

I understand that when you just break up, you need double energy to complete half of a usual task, you don't even bother to breathe anymore. I had a method to release my anger last time.

我明白失戀的時候,你需要花兩倍的力氣,卻只能做一半的事,連呼吸都覺得懶, 我想起當年其中一個很好的發洩方式,提供給各位參考。

After I broke up, I went to fun park with my family, played all the fun ride I didn't dare to try before, with the idea of "I don't have anything to lose anymore", yes indeed, that time I felt I had nothing to lose anymore after dumped by the man I loved.

在失戀的巔峰期,我跟家人去九族文化村,玩我以前打死都不敢坐的超刺激滑水道, 我承認我是抱著一種「人生也沒有什麼好留戀」的態度, 總覺得被心愛的男人拋棄,如果真的怎麼了,好像也無所謂了。

When I slide down from the ride, every memories appeared in my brain like marry-go-round. "KANINIAAAAAA~~~!" That's what I shout from the beginning till the end of the ride.

滑下去的瞬間我整個像任督二脈被打通, 人生跑馬燈開始出現當時他有多靠北的各種心碎。 幹!拎!娘啊啊阿啊啊~~~!!! 當時我髒話的尾音就以echo的方式迴盪在四周, 從遠到近,從近到遠,整座車就聽我一個,很爽。

My father asked me what I was shouting but I didn't tell him. I felt relieve like never before.

我無法忘懷,家父當時有問我剛才坐在後面鬼叫什麼, 我哼哼哈哈打個馬虎眼就過去了,但是我的胸膛有前所未有的舒暢。

I can't forget lots of our memories.

很多畫面是一輩子也忘不掉的,在前男友身上我也證實了墨菲定律到底有多神準。

One day, I saw him ride on his motorcycle with his girlfriend behind him, passed through me on the road, the girl still wore my fucking helmet, Niama... I'm super pissed.

過馬路前親眼看到他載著那位女孩,有說有笑從我面前騎車呼嘯而過, 女孩頭上還戴著什麼我的狗屁專屬安全帽, 拎娘.... 想到這個真的是非常的不爽。

Later on, I collapsed and crying out loud again at the traffic light. I seriously hope that they can only use IE to online for the rest of their life.

不用說,當下我當然是還沒等綠燈亮就像鼻涕鬼一樣開始崩潰。 前男/女友之所以成為前男/女友,有很多原因, 而其中因為腳筋骨軟Q而丟下另一方的這種原因, 別談詛咒什麼的有失風度,我希望他們下輩子只能用IE上網。

Yea right, I want to believe those people who cheated aren't a totally jerk, they might be very polite, very nice to friends and family, help old man cross the roads, but the fact is they are cheating in their relationship, you can't deny this.

是啊,我願意相信那些劈腿的男男女女本性並不壞, 他們也許言行舉止有禮貌,對朋友講義氣,還會扶老太太過馬路, 但在感情上不忠劈腿外遇愛偷吃,人格就是爛到有剩,這點實在是沒什麼好說的。

When your boyfriend or girlfriend promise or commit something to you in a relationship, they really mean it because they loved you. But if you can't let those promises go after you break up, you will make yourself even more painful.

在一段感情中,本來就是一翻兩瞪眼,沒有什麼灰色地帶。 我願意相信,當兩個人在一起的時候,對方說的永遠,是真的永遠。 但分手之後,抓著當時來不及兌現的誓言,會讓自己更加痛苦的。

After so many years, I can't even remember how nice he was, but I certainly do remember how jerk he was.

過了這麼多年,我已經想不起來他有多溫柔,卻也忘不掉他有多雞掰。

If you're asking me whether I hate him or not, I would answer you that he's the most annoying person and the person who I like to thank at the same time.

Without him, I wouldn't even know how tough I am, I traveled to other country and lived for 3 years, get my degree, it's totally awesome.

Live your life. Live better and happier is the best decision I ever had.

問我恨不恨他,我想說的是,他是我最討厭和最該感謝的人。 如果不是他,我不會知道自己原來可以這麼堅強,翻過半顆地球, 到國外生活了三年,拿了第二個學位,而且還沒有CCR,根本充實。 讓自己變得更好,過的更快樂,絕對是值回票價的決定。

I know that one day, I will sit on my chair, telling my grandchild that how their grandma eliminated low grade DNA so they can sit there and listen my stories.

我知道我以後可以慈祥地坐在藤椅上, 用很老卻很霸氣的聲音,跟我孫子孫女說當年恁祖罵如何淘汰劣等基因, 才有今日優秀的他們。

As a conclusion, I hope what I write here can cheers those victims like me out there. I wish that you can live your life better, so if one day your cheated ex with their gf/bf cross your path again, please don't bow down your head and pretend you don't recognize them.

Please say hi, keep up your smile, and show them your middle finger.

話說到這邊,希望這邊分享的一切,可以讓那些情傷者提起精神, 祝福所有被無縫或劈腿的男男女女都可以讓自己變得更好, 未來在路上和當年各種負先生負小姐擦肩而過的時候, 千萬別低頭裝不認識,請一定要打招呼, 記得用最美的微笑,配上最堅挺的中指。

Cheers!

共勉之!

Source

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What a long article, phew!

Cheers!

-closedown-

Thursday, November 13, 2014

我想取悅男人

CKY please activate CSY-translator app for this article.

This article can't be translated. Thank you.

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OK此篇認真文

勿笑有一次

我和我弟倆人獨自在家,

我就問他:弟弟啊 交女朋友了沒,

我弟說:還沒 我想取悅男人,

我很驚訝的說:不會吧 你怎麼會有這種噁心的想法?

我弟:哪裡噁心了 只不過黑了一點,

我跟我弟說:爸要是知道你是同性戀 不打死你才怪結果

我弟回答:襙你媽的你才同性戀勒

他的口出妄言

基於長兄的立場

我拿起棍子教訓了他一頓,

後來他賭氣整整半年了都沒跟我講過半句話,

事後我才知道他說的是:我想娶越南人..

我心裡蠻愧疚的大家可以幫我想想

有什麼好方法可以跟我弟合好嗎?

Source

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-closedown-

Monday, November 10, 2014

TJM's Wedding Dinner 2013

After an epic food journey in Ipoh, we drove to Bukit Mertajam to attend TJM's, one of the weirdest human being I ever met in my life.

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Talking about weird people that I met in my life, I think I can list down the top 3.

First one I believe you recognize Jordan's best friend who used some kind of dark magic to disappear from our life, I never blog about him but I believe it's another great story to tell.

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The second one should be my ex housemate who did a lot of things i never seen and i did blog many funny stories about him.

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And the last one should be TJM who always have special idea about life and special fetish on man's nipple.

Yea, it's not a typo, his fetish was man's nipple.

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However, even he's weird sometimes, but we never discriminate him.

We are buddies forever.

We respect people with disability among us.

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For the first 3 years TJM studied in university, he was a curious guy.

He always curious why we as a man need to hide ourselves to a silent corner when we talk with girlfriend on phone.

He never had one before so he was extremely curious.

He always ambush us while we're talking outside our house, trying to eavesdropping our conversation but still he never understood.

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Until one day, he finally had a chance in a relationship and whenever we tried to eavesdrop him, he will felt embarrass and ran away from us too.

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He also did something really weird like after he washed his clothes during 3 or 4am, he sat on his couch and watched TV.

One of his housemate who just had sex, came out from his room and surprised that TJM not yet sleep.

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He asked him why and TJM responded that he needed to wait for the sun rise.

Wait for the sun...

Sun...

Because he will only hang his clothes after he see the sun.

He's just that special.

We made fun of him all the time about this and he still think he's not wrong.

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About his special fetish, he always like to ambush us and pinch our nipple then ran away before we're able to catch him.

So the other day one of our housemate, Alex's girlfriend came and visited him.

TJM wanted to introduced himself. He's such a charming and friendly guy.

After he introduced himself, he asked the girl:" Had you ever play with Alex' nipple?"

What a brilliant ice breaking session!!!

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Anywhere, we still love him.

He brought a lot of joy to us and nowadays he's a father soon.

Come to think of it, his wife is an angel, a pure heart angel who can accept a special guy like him.

According to his wife, he is better nowadays, thank you darling, thank you for taking care of our friend.

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Ok, after so many great stories about TJM and photos of me with my friends, where the hell was him???

I didn't even have a chance to take photo with him.

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Even our epic uni friends reunion group photo doesn't have TJM inside!

Where the hell were you?

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I talked a lot about you in this post and your face only appear ONCE!

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And who the fuck took this photo for us?

Why weren't we in the center of the photo???

What is the concept of the empty spaces on the right side there?

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Oh wait a minute... I see what you did there.

Were you trying to capture Michael Soo's imaginary girlfriends?

Wow, he must be a real "imaginary chick magnet"!

-closedown-