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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Young and Responsible



The other day I came across to this short film and it reminded me of an interesting story of myself.

Being a young and responsible boy, I went to pharmacy to restock supplies before having sexy time with my love one.

It wasn't the first time I buy condoms. Usually I go to big pharmacy like Guardian or Watson but this time I went to a small pharmacy because of the urgency. You know *wink*

I stood in front of the family planning section for quite some time because there's too many of them!



Picking up various type and brand of condom packs, I'm reading their description and checking their price carefully.

After a trillion years later, I decided to buy this type of condom.



Because of its shape.



I think that this condom will fit well on my little bro because of his anatomy. I bought this before and I think I should follow the conventional and comfort type.

May be I was standing there for too long, looking like a lost innocent deer.

An middle age uncle who is also the pharmacy owner approached me. Exactly like that scene in the short film.

"Hey boy, you need any help?"

I think I don't need any help since I had decided what I want to buy.

He looked what's on my hand, then looked me in my eyes, deep into my soul and mind.

He gave a pat on my shoulder and continued: "Boy, I think this one doesn't suit you. Here, choose this one instead."

He took another type of condom and passed it to me.



Close fit.



I was like holy shit this uncle is a genius! How can he know which type of condom suit me just by looking at my face?

This uncle must have some serious talent.

My family always tell me if there's a wise man appear out of nowhere to advice you, you will not go to the dark side if you follow his advice.

With this, I bought that condom immediately without any doubt.

So, when it's finally the night of sexy time.

I put on the close fit condom and I immediately regret the decision I made.

Fuck the wise man.

The condom squeezed my little bro's head so tight that he's screaming out of pain.

Seriously!

No joke!

He's like NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! HELPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! MIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

It's like a big fat guy sit on your head and your head is going to explode and you are screaming so loud for help.

I couldn't continue.

I just can't.

Luckily, there's some leftover of the comfort type so it didn't ruin my night.

Moral of the story: follow your instinct, not some random uncle's advice.

Well, this will be my last post of 2015 and I hope my story will cheer up remaining days of your 2015.

Happy new year everyone!

Cheers!

-closedown-

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Ten Years of Memories

I woke up around 11am today, and ended up spending so many hours to rearrange my old photos. There are so so much photos from 2005 to 2015.

Ten years of memories.

I wanted to look for Hock and his wife old photos but once I clicked inside, I decided I have to sort them out.

Finally, it's time to do it.

For so many years, I feel reluctant to open my photos folders because of the memories inside. I was afraid.

You know why.

In the end, I deleted lots and lots of photos, the one I should deleted long time ago but I didn't have the courage to do it. It's amazing that I still can feel the love I had given, I was so in love and I gave so much. I wonder I can love someone that much again.

However, I'm glad I finally sort out the photos because they retrieve a lot of memories which I had forgotten, especially the one with family and friends. I uploaded some of them on my Facebook, some might be embarrassing but I think it's ok since it's long time ago.

Anywhere, before the end of 2015, I promise I will write a funny post exclusively for my loyal readers here.

Stay tune!

P/S: Tian jeh, I put ur photos in a special folder named Fatima, tell me if you want them <3

-closedown-

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Hello

Hello, it's me.

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I think she must be really pissed off because I never see her type a full F word.

Cheers!

-closedown-

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Two of the Hardest Questions



For 30 years of my life, I have answered enormous amount of questions, I survived most of them, but nothing is tougher than the following two questions that threw to me some times ago.


1. Do you think he's good?

At the very end of my relationship where everything is going to collapse, my ex's mom approached me and talked to me. She told me she know what is happening and she can do nothing about it. She tried to talk to her daughter but the result is still the same, and she's helpless. I really appreciate by knowing that she's standing on the same side with me.She's one of the best mom ever.

After a long talk, she suddenly asked me:" Do you think he's good?"

She's asking for my opinion about the third person, who barged into my relationship and took the girl who I once thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. That particular guy, she's asking me whether he's good enough for her.

For a while, my brain was crashing, started to dump memory, and everything went into blue screen.

Yes?/No?

At that moment, I don't have an answer for that.

Now I think of it, I still don't have answer for that.

Toughest question ever.


2. Is it because she's not pretty?

When I turn 30 and still single for almost 3 years, everyone is freaked out.

But here I am, because I'm 30 and single, I have a lot of interesting stories! This is one of them.

One of my retired uncle and aunt wished to introduce their friend's daughter to me. She's single and close to my age. They gave me her number and asked me to call her. Basically, I did nothing.

My uncle saw me did nothing and he almost rage, asking me to take the first move to talk to the girl. I'm solid as rock, nothing can move me. I told them I will do it if I'm free. Well, as you can see that's an excuse.

One day, I flew over to their home for my cousin's wedding. I sat on the table with a group of old people, eating kolo mee as my breakfast.

Suddenly, my aunt pointed me with her finger and shouted:" Neh! This is the guy I mentioned to you and want to introduce to your daughter one lo!"

I looked at the auntie, yeah, she's is my aunt's friend, who can't wait for a lucky guy to marry her daughter.

That auntie started to bombard me on the table. For your info, my mom was there too.

She's saying something like why I didn't try to talk to her daughter, she's very shy one, she never has a boyfriend before etc etc.

Then she continued:" What's the problem? Is it because you think she's not pretty?"

And again, my brain is crashing, how the hell should I answer this question.

Yes?/No?

Luckily, my brain didn't turn into blue screen mode.

This time, I came up with a brilliant answer.

"This kolo mee taste so good!"

I quickly finish it and ran away.

I know right? It's a tough job to be single and handsome.

Alright, I'm actually writing this on 3am, right after I posted the photo on FB but I will never explain the stories on there. I like to make people keep guessing.

What you read here, stay here.

Cheers.

-closedown-

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Trust, Love & Faith

So, I was watching Wong Fu's new video - Single by 30



What a great video title! Perfect video for me. Single, and 30.

Read the comments and people said it's a prequel of "The Last".

I searched for the video.



Hey! This video is familiar. I blogged about this video before~

After some searching and found the post named as "How many did you love before me?".

Wow, it was almost 3 years ago?

And when I read what I wrote, I realized how funny I was. I laughed on my own story. I almost forgot I can write like this.

And then I realized, why I don't write funny story anymore?

Since when I lost my sense of humor?

Since when I stop making people laugh?

since when I stop make myself laugh?

Why?

May be it's life, or society, or love, or friendship.

Perhaps I lost trust, love and faith.

Perhaps that's the torture of time.

Perhaps that's adult life.

Perhaps.

I believe the day I start to write happy story, is the day I found them again.

Oh~ So emo, such negativity energy, I hope I don't write such things again.

Cheers everyone.

Have a good day!

Monday, December 29, 2014

Cooking

The following post was written during I was in KK but I forget to post, so it's a outdated post but still fun to read.

Enjoy.

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I like to cook. I don't usually cook in Kuching because every meal is perfectly prepared when I'm home.

Since I lived in KK now and the food is incredibly expensive here, I have to cook myself.

I'm amazed by my cooking talent that almost every meal unexpectedly taste delicious, well, at least for me.

I'm not bragging but it really do. You can judge by looking at it, 色香味俱全啊!

Direct translate 色香味俱全啊! is "perfection with sex, smell, taste".

Just kidding. It's "perfection with colour, smell, taste".

If I cook, I insist to have one meat and one vege for my dinner. Vege is a must. If I'm out of vege, I'm only gonna eat instant noodles.

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Kailan with fishball and nugget.


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Cabbage with mushrooms and fried stuff.

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Canned spicy pork with xiao bai chai.

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Fried egg, nugget, sausage and vege.

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Fried rice.

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Sausage omelet with tomatoes and cabbage.

Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App
Fried chicken with cabbage.

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Fried sausage with bread slices covered in sugar coating egg.

Then the other day I spotted Nutella.

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Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App

So my bread always have Nutella with it.

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Cabbage, fried egg with lak cheong.

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Green vege with omelet.

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Recipe taught by my sis, tomato mee with fresh tomatoes.

Incredibly tasty on first attempt.

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So nowadays I live in my new house, I'm still do the cooking.

It really waste time but it's fun.

I enjoy cooking because of the proud feeling after you finish cook your meal then it taste great, it's a great achievement for me.

I will pat pat my left shoulder with my right palm.

Good job JoJo, you did it again.

-closedown-


Thursday, December 25, 2014

Alien Battery

Last time, whenever I tried to charge my SE W810, it shows "Charging, alien battery".

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That's weird, alien must be spying me for my awesomeness.

Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App

The phone died afterward as alien noticed that I was aware of their appearance.

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Talking about my SE W810 classic phone, it reminds me how good TJM was.

He borrowed me portion of his PTPTN money so that I can buy this phone, I remember I'm short of that amount because PTPTN didn't banked in my money. So sweet of him~

Cheers.

-closedown-

Monday, December 22, 2014

Multiple Choices

I found out I usually like to have multiple choices in my life.

For early morning hot drink, I have selections of milo, tea and coffee  for my selection according to my mood.

Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App

For cookies, I have many type of them so I will not get bored of single taste.

For example for Muchy cookies, I have these both type, and there's more in my drawers.

Uploaded from the Photobucket iPhone App

For bath shampoo, I got Shokubutsu and Dettol at the same time. I got really annoyed by the same smell so I bought the other one. I used Shokubutsuin the morning and Dettol in the evening.

And then I realized.

I might be need to have two girlfriends at the same time so I will not be bored FOREVER.

Sounds legit.

-closedown-