Pages

Ads 468x60px

Thursday, November 20, 2014

The Evilest Thing



Girls, next time if you have a serious fight with ur husband, if u bring bank books, clothes etc to go back to your parent's house. Don't be silly.

Listen carefully.

Bring the following items with you: aircond and tv remote control, his IC and driving license, car keys, change computer and wifi's password. Then go back to your parent's house.

Within one hour, he will learn what's his mistakes.

-closedown-

Monday, November 17, 2014

Break Up Motivation

If you came out from a bad relationship, here is a great article for you.

I like to read Taiwan's PTT articles, most of the time they can cheer me up!

Since this article is helpful for me, so I decided to translate it into English just to polish my English translating skill, I would appreciate Grammar Nazi's critic at the same time.

◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲◤◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲◤◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲◤

Refer to the messages that I received from you all, I decided to write this article. All the love stories you all shared with me are unforgettable and heart breaking.

關於這篇的誕生,大概是因為收到了幾封站內信, 告訴我一段銘心刻骨卻又痛徹心扉的愛情故事。

I read your stories and they are sad and touching at the same time, thus I would like to share my experience and advices.

看了其實滿難過,卻又很有感觸,於是想分享一下我的經驗和心得。

When I broke up last time, I used two years to heal myself, and depressed for two years.

回想走出陰霾的這段回憶,我花了兩年多,也哭了兩年多。

In the beginning I just couldn't sleep well, I cried when I woke up, my tears never stop.

剛開始真的每天怎麼睡著的不知道,一醒來就是想哭, 鼻水眼淚流不停,愛深埋餛飩海。

Internet's shitty love quotes can easily made me cry, and I like sad songs, they made me cry like there's no tomorrow too.

網路上的一句狗屁愛情格言就可以讓我噴淚, 很犯賤的是我又愛聽悲歌,歌曲前奏還沒播完就淚如雨下。

The idea of suicide came to me, every cell in my body was devastating, I asked myself repeatedly what mistakes did I make, I wasn't that bad, except for her younger body, I fucking didn't lose anything to her.

我也曾經想不開到一個最糟的狀況,全身上下每一吋細胞都在自卑, 都在反覆問自己到底做錯什麼,我沒有比那位新歡差,一點也沒有, 除了那位女孩的肉體多新鮮個幾年以外,老娘明明什麼都不輸。

I believe there's must be some misunderstanding with him in my previous life so he came to this life to torture me. However, cheated guy always have the same excuse - we doesn't match.

我深信上輩子我跟他一定是有什麼誤會,才讓他今生來這樣折磨我。 然而,想劈腿的人的動機,原來用「新鮮感」三個字就說完了。

New love give them the spark, all kind of spark make their heart itchy, penis and pussy also itchy itchy.

新對象讓他們找到一開始曖昧的刺激, 各種酸甜滋味讓人心癢癢,GG(穴穴)也癢癢。

I thought I was being cursed, may be he wiped me with his semen before, if not why the fuck I loved him so much. But think of it, we loved our ex so much just because we're the one who dumped by them.

當然,我以前也曾懷疑自己被下蠱,可能衣服被他用洨抹在領口之類的, 不然怎麼會這麼死心蹋地非他不可呢? 但回頭想想,我們之所以會把前情人給神格化,只是因為我們是被拋棄的那方罷了。

To wake ourselves up, the first step is to know the FACT. That's they will NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! come back.

要讓自己覺悟,第一步就是要認清事實,就是對方絕!對!不!會!回來找你! 就算是強迫說服自己,也要有這個心理準備。

After four years of break up, I opened my computer and went through all of his photos while crying and cursing at the same time, I decided to delete all the photos.

過了四年,我才敢把電腦裡某個資料夾打開,把全部的照片都看一遍, 邊看邊哭邊笑邊咒罵,胃絞痛完後,我決定刪掉這些照片。

It's not easy to do this, after you press the delete button, the fucking computer will ask you to confirm one more time. "Are you sure you want to permanently delete these files?"

Yes, just press the fricking confirm button, he or she ain't coming back.

踏出這一步是很不容易的,連電腦都會再跟你確認一次。 「您確定要永久清空垃圾桶的所有項目?」 清空吧,永久就永久管他去死,因為那個他/她也不會再回來了。

I would like to thanks my friends who accompanied me all the time, listened to my complains about my ex boyfriend stories, and because of them I didn't disconnect my life, it took me two years to realize I can't be that stupid.

也很感謝人生中有幾個始終願意陪在我身邊的朋友, 聽我講著一遍又一遍前男友怎麼不去吃屎的故事, 讓我不至於蠢到把人生on line的伺服器弄斷線, 我多想兩年,才發現自己可以不用這麼蠢。

My parent gave me my precious life, for what reason do I need to hurt myself for a dick like that?

Love is constructed by time and trust, loyalty in a relationship is a basic element in love. You can't even define cheaters as a garbage, garbage will be very sad if they know you portrait it to them.

我也是人生父母養,憑什麼這輩子就要碰到這樣的男人來蹧蹋我啊? 感情的厚度是用時間堆砌而成, 在一段感情中不要心猿意馬應該是身為地球人可以做到的事, 那些隨著時間而讓自己腳筋骨便越來越軟Q, 腳踏多條船的章魚哥/姐,就不用說了,用垃圾來形容他們,垃圾也會哭泣的。

If you decided to put down your dignity just want to save a relationship like this, please, leave is your only choice. Giving up your dignity to a relationship is like a limbo dance, you get lower and lower.

而當你發現你必須放棄尊嚴來委曲求全這份感情的時候,瀟灑轉身離開絕對是不二選擇。 對感情妥協的代價就是換來自己的底線像在跳凌波舞一樣,越壓越低。

I understand that when you just break up, you need double energy to complete half of a usual task, you don't even bother to breathe anymore. I had a method to release my anger last time.

我明白失戀的時候,你需要花兩倍的力氣,卻只能做一半的事,連呼吸都覺得懶, 我想起當年其中一個很好的發洩方式,提供給各位參考。

After I broke up, I went to fun park with my family, played all the fun ride I didn't dare to try before, with the idea of "I don't have anything to lose anymore", yes indeed, that time I felt I had nothing to lose anymore after dumped by the man I loved.

在失戀的巔峰期,我跟家人去九族文化村,玩我以前打死都不敢坐的超刺激滑水道, 我承認我是抱著一種「人生也沒有什麼好留戀」的態度, 總覺得被心愛的男人拋棄,如果真的怎麼了,好像也無所謂了。

When I slide down from the ride, every memories appeared in my brain like marry-go-round. "KANINIAAAAAA~~~!" That's what I shout from the beginning till the end of the ride.

滑下去的瞬間我整個像任督二脈被打通, 人生跑馬燈開始出現當時他有多靠北的各種心碎。 幹!拎!娘啊啊阿啊啊~~~!!! 當時我髒話的尾音就以echo的方式迴盪在四周, 從遠到近,從近到遠,整座車就聽我一個,很爽。

My father asked me what I was shouting but I didn't tell him. I felt relieve like never before.

我無法忘懷,家父當時有問我剛才坐在後面鬼叫什麼, 我哼哼哈哈打個馬虎眼就過去了,但是我的胸膛有前所未有的舒暢。

I can't forget lots of our memories.

很多畫面是一輩子也忘不掉的,在前男友身上我也證實了墨菲定律到底有多神準。

One day, I saw him ride on his motorcycle with his girlfriend behind him, passed through me on the road, the girl still wore my fucking helmet, Niama... I'm super pissed.

過馬路前親眼看到他載著那位女孩,有說有笑從我面前騎車呼嘯而過, 女孩頭上還戴著什麼我的狗屁專屬安全帽, 拎娘.... 想到這個真的是非常的不爽。

Later on, I collapsed and crying out loud again at the traffic light. I seriously hope that they can only use IE to online for the rest of their life.

不用說,當下我當然是還沒等綠燈亮就像鼻涕鬼一樣開始崩潰。 前男/女友之所以成為前男/女友,有很多原因, 而其中因為腳筋骨軟Q而丟下另一方的這種原因, 別談詛咒什麼的有失風度,我希望他們下輩子只能用IE上網。

Yea right, I want to believe those people who cheated aren't a totally jerk, they might be very polite, very nice to friends and family, help old man cross the roads, but the fact is they are cheating in their relationship, you can't deny this.

是啊,我願意相信那些劈腿的男男女女本性並不壞, 他們也許言行舉止有禮貌,對朋友講義氣,還會扶老太太過馬路, 但在感情上不忠劈腿外遇愛偷吃,人格就是爛到有剩,這點實在是沒什麼好說的。

When your boyfriend or girlfriend promise or commit something to you in a relationship, they really mean it because they loved you. But if you can't let those promises go after you break up, you will make yourself even more painful.

在一段感情中,本來就是一翻兩瞪眼,沒有什麼灰色地帶。 我願意相信,當兩個人在一起的時候,對方說的永遠,是真的永遠。 但分手之後,抓著當時來不及兌現的誓言,會讓自己更加痛苦的。

After so many years, I can't even remember how nice he was, but I certainly do remember how jerk he was.

過了這麼多年,我已經想不起來他有多溫柔,卻也忘不掉他有多雞掰。

If you're asking me whether I hate him or not, I would answer you that he's the most annoying person and the person who I like to thank at the same time.

Without him, I wouldn't even know how tough I am, I traveled to other country and lived for 3 years, get my degree, it's totally awesome.

Live your life. Live better and happier is the best decision I ever had.

問我恨不恨他,我想說的是,他是我最討厭和最該感謝的人。 如果不是他,我不會知道自己原來可以這麼堅強,翻過半顆地球, 到國外生活了三年,拿了第二個學位,而且還沒有CCR,根本充實。 讓自己變得更好,過的更快樂,絕對是值回票價的決定。

I know that one day, I will sit on my chair, telling my grandchild that how their grandma eliminated low grade DNA so they can sit there and listen my stories.

我知道我以後可以慈祥地坐在藤椅上, 用很老卻很霸氣的聲音,跟我孫子孫女說當年恁祖罵如何淘汰劣等基因, 才有今日優秀的他們。

As a conclusion, I hope what I write here can cheers those victims like me out there. I wish that you can live your life better, so if one day your cheated ex with their gf/bf cross your path again, please don't bow down your head and pretend you don't recognize them.

Please say hi, keep up your smile, and show them your middle finger.

話說到這邊,希望這邊分享的一切,可以讓那些情傷者提起精神, 祝福所有被無縫或劈腿的男男女女都可以讓自己變得更好, 未來在路上和當年各種負先生負小姐擦肩而過的時候, 千萬別低頭裝不認識,請一定要打招呼, 記得用最美的微笑,配上最堅挺的中指。

Cheers!

共勉之!

Source

◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲◤◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲◤◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲◤

What a long article, phew!

Cheers!

-closedown-

Thursday, November 13, 2014

我想取悅男人

CKY please activate CSY-translator app for this article.

This article can't be translated. Thank you.

◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲◤◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲◤◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲◤

OK此篇認真文

勿笑有一次

我和我弟倆人獨自在家,

我就問他:弟弟啊 交女朋友了沒,

我弟說:還沒 我想取悅男人,

我很驚訝的說:不會吧 你怎麼會有這種噁心的想法?

我弟:哪裡噁心了 只不過黑了一點,

我跟我弟說:爸要是知道你是同性戀 不打死你才怪結果

我弟回答:襙你媽的你才同性戀勒

他的口出妄言

基於長兄的立場

我拿起棍子教訓了他一頓,

後來他賭氣整整半年了都沒跟我講過半句話,

事後我才知道他說的是:我想娶越南人..

我心裡蠻愧疚的大家可以幫我想想

有什麼好方法可以跟我弟合好嗎?

Source

◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲◤◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲◤◥⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲⊙▲◤

-closedown-

Monday, November 10, 2014

TJM's Wedding Dinner 2013

After an epic food journey in Ipoh, we drove to Bukit Mertajam to attend TJM's, one of the weirdest human being I ever met in my life.

 photo IMG_2806_zpsea8c6d10.jpg

Talking about weird people that I met in my life, I think I can list down the top 3.

First one I believe you recognize Jordan's best friend who used some kind of dark magic to disappear from our life, I never blog about him but I believe it's another great story to tell.

 photo IMG_2779_zpseda4565d.jpg

The second one should be my ex housemate who did a lot of things i never seen and i did blog many funny stories about him.

 photo IMG_2778_zps4a422f87.jpg

And the last one should be TJM who always have special idea about life and special fetish on man's nipple.

Yea, it's not a typo, his fetish was man's nipple.

 photo IMG_2782_zps477efdd5.jpg

However, even he's weird sometimes, but we never discriminate him.

We are buddies forever.

We respect people with disability among us.

 photo IMG_2776_zpsc810c55f.jpg

For the first 3 years TJM studied in university, he was a curious guy.

He always curious why we as a man need to hide ourselves to a silent corner when we talk with girlfriend on phone.

He never had one before so he was extremely curious.

He always ambush us while we're talking outside our house, trying to eavesdropping our conversation but still he never understood.

 photo IMG_2766_zpsac5ae31d.jpg

Until one day, he finally had a chance in a relationship and whenever we tried to eavesdrop him, he will felt embarrass and ran away from us too.

 photo IMG_2774_zps22b5ebde.jpg

He also did something really weird like after he washed his clothes during 3 or 4am, he sat on his couch and watched TV.

One of his housemate who just had sex, came out from his room and surprised that TJM not yet sleep.

 photo IMG_2763_zps1692ae45.jpg

He asked him why and TJM responded that he needed to wait for the sun rise.

Wait for the sun...

Sun...

Because he will only hang his clothes after he see the sun.

He's just that special.

We made fun of him all the time about this and he still think he's not wrong.

 photo IMG_2770_zpse4b29127.jpg

About his special fetish, he always like to ambush us and pinch our nipple then ran away before we're able to catch him.

So the other day one of our housemate, Alex's girlfriend came and visited him.

TJM wanted to introduced himself. He's such a charming and friendly guy.

After he introduced himself, he asked the girl:" Had you ever play with Alex' nipple?"

What a brilliant ice breaking session!!!

 photo IMG_2768_zpsa33282c8.jpg

Anywhere, we still love him.

He brought a lot of joy to us and nowadays he's a father soon.

Come to think of it, his wife is an angel, a pure heart angel who can accept a special guy like him.

According to his wife, he is better nowadays, thank you darling, thank you for taking care of our friend.

 photo IMG_2761_zps4bc3dc0c.jpg

Ok, after so many great stories about TJM and photos of me with my friends, where the hell was him???

I didn't even have a chance to take photo with him.

 photo IMG_2803_zps66918fc7.jpg

Even our epic uni friends reunion group photo doesn't have TJM inside!

Where the hell were you?

 photo IMG_2804_zps141c28cf.jpg

I talked a lot about you in this post and your face only appear ONCE!

 photo IMG_2806_zpsea8c6d10.jpg

And who the fuck took this photo for us?

Why weren't we in the center of the photo???

What is the concept of the empty spaces on the right side there?

 photo IMG_2806_zps8d0aa3fc.jpg

Oh wait a minute... I see what you did there.

Were you trying to capture Michael Soo's imaginary girlfriends?

Wow, he must be a real "imaginary chick magnet"!

-closedown-

Thursday, October 02, 2014

It's October

Sorry about the lack of updates lately, you know, I usually write blog posts during office hour to kill time.

Lately, I'm too busy during working hour, I mean, not about works, it's because of LOL World Championship 2014!

I'm too busy watching all the replay matches on the Youtube.

Plus I don't have any internet connection after I moved into my new home, so I can only watch them during working hours.

More updates will be available until... may be november... or may be next year... I'm not sure XD

Cheers!

-closedown-

Thursday, September 25, 2014

❤ I Don't Wanna Love Somebody Else ❤

IU was singing A Great Big World's "I Don't Wanna Love Somebody Else" in a live performance.



She's perfect with her guitar. Totally steal my heart.

◕‿‿◕ Oh IU~~ I love U~~

-closedown-

Evolution is so scary

I will be like... "OK! Kid! You win this debate! Here's your money!"



She's so adorable and her accent is beyond adorable, can't deny that, but at the same time I am amazed by how a 3 years old kid can speak and debate like an adult.

Must be the milk powder they drink these days, the DHA thing makes them evolve so quickly.

-closedown-

Monday, September 22, 2014

Ring vs Lunchbox

If you replace the ring with a lunchbox, everything will be clearer for the girls.



Just can't stop laughing for the manly cheers in the end.

This video deserves a medal.

-closedown-