Contribution of Man's Sperm

Getting bored of love story? Let's read on true life story.

P/S: Another story translation from JoJo. (with bad english)



那晚，我認識的一對年輕夫妻中的太太哭著來電：「你快來！我恨他！我要和他離婚！」
I received a call from a woman:" Faster come! I hate him! I want to divorce with him!"

快速趕到他們家,這會兒還正吵的兇呢！
After arrived at their house. Here's their conversation.

男說：「她很無聊，我上班好累，她說晚上要去散步，我說改天，她就又哭又鬧，真是討厭！」
KuKu bird aka her husband:" She's very annoying, I'm so tired after working until now, she said she want to go out and have a walk, I said another day la, she cried and become so noisy, it's annoying!"




女說：「你才討厭，我在家作牛作馬為這個家打掃，為你做飯為你生孩子，為你們臭男人當發洩獸慾的工具，怎麼，只要求散個步你就會累死啦！？」
Woman:" You baru annoying! I stay at home and tidy up this home for whole day, I cook for you, I born child for you, I become a tool to release your s3xual desire, how? What so hard if I'm just asking you to bring me out for a walk?"



男說：「喂！生小孩是兩人的事又不是我一人的事，妳累難道我不累？我發洩難道妳沒享受？」
KuKu bird:" Hey! Born children is not only your business, k? I also will tired when m@king love, then you don't enjoy meh?"

女說：「哼！早知道生了小孩你不管我，我根本就不生，我們女人為何辛苦生下孩子，就一定要負責孩子的一切，又不能出去工作。」
Woman:" Cis! If I know you wont care about me after we got children, I don't even want to born them. Why woman want to born children when we suffer a lot, and we must take care everything of our children, yet we can't go out to enjoy and work."

男說：「喂！生孩子又不是妳一人能辦到，沒有我妳生個屁。」
KuKu bird:" Hey, born child is not a thing which can only done by u ok? If don't have contribution by me, what you born?"

女說：「哼！你們男人有何貢獻？享受女人肉體的是你，發洩的也是你，你貢獻什麼」
Woman:" Cis, what contribution does a man give? The one who enjoy the most is you, the one who release s3xual desire is you, what had you contribute?"

男說：「哼！沒有我的貢獻精子妳生什麼！？」
KuKu Bird:" Cis! If you don't have my sp3rm, you born ass ka?"



再來下面的話讓人難忘！！
The climax of this quarrel is here. (Where my translation may be different with the story because of limitation of my english)

女說：「哈哈！貢獻精子你，享受完了，你射精了，你貢獻了，好..那看看我們女人的貢獻：
Woman:" Haha! You contribute ur sp3rm, FINE! You finish enjoy, you shoot and you complete your contribution. OK! Look at woman's contribution:



我懷孕要忍耐嘔吐;我要小心飲食；我連生病都不敢吃藥；我要為肚裏孩子注意一切；我懷孕不便於行；
I want to endure with the feeling of throw up; I need to be very careful for everything I eat; I don't even dare to eat medicine when I'm sick; I need to look after everything for the baby inside my stomach; I got difficulty when move around when I'm pregnant;

我不再能遠行郊遊；我坐車都不方便；我要穿上大肚裝；我不能放心行房；
I can't go out for picnic; It's so inconvenient when I drive or taking a ride; I need to wear maternity wear; I'm worried when I m@ke love with you;

我要擔心肚裏孩子是否健康；我要定時去醫院產檢；我懷孕要破壞身材；
I always worry whether baby is healthy or not; I always need to have medical checking at hospital; I scare pregnant will make me fatter and fatter;

我要煩惱妊娠紋的出現；生產後要努力恢復身材使丈夫不嫌棄；我要忍受陣痛
I scare of wrinkle on my stomach after pregnant; I need to bear with the great pain when give birth; and after give birth, I need to work hard to recover my body shape;

我要痛苦生產；我也許須要剖腹生產；我也許會有產後憂鬱症；我要帶初生嬰兒；
I scare the pain of giving birth; I may need to have Caesarean operation, I may have hypochondria before or after pregnancy; I need to take care of new born baby;

我因餵奶而胸部下垂；我要照顧小孩生活起居；我要比小孩晚睡而比小孩早起；
I may have drooping breasts because of breast feed; I need to take care everything of our children; I need to sleep late and wake up earlier for our children;

我要半夜起床餵奶；我還是要忙一切家事；我要放棄事業；我伸手要錢要看丈夫臉色
I have to wake up and nurse them on midnight; I need to do all housekeeping; I give up my career; When I ask for money, I still need to look at your mood and your face;

丈夫出門享樂而我得在家帶小孩；甚至於走樣的身材是丈夫外遇的藉口
While husband go out and having fun, I need to stay at home and take care of our children; Even the excuse of husband's affair is my bad body shape make his eyes pain;

這種種一切就是我的貢獻！
All of this is my contribution!

你不過是享受完之後，放一點精子在我肚裏，然後大睡，
Your job is just put some sp3rm inside v@gina after you 0rgasm, then sleep.

奇怪…這種情況，憑什麼小孩要跟著你姓？他的血他的肉他的一切都是我給的，你不過只給他一丁點兒，有什麼資格跟我爭？」
Why? Why our children need to follow your surname? His blood his flesh and everything are given by me, you just give him little tiny thing, what qualification do you have to fight with me?

這場架吵完了，我記得那丈夫極力想爭辯，卻一點話都說不出來。
He don't have anything to say anymore.

P/S: Man, question ourself, think twice before we said we got LARGE contribution to have a baby. Boyfriend, love your girlfriend. Husband, love your wife. Friends, love your mom.

-Finish-