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Monday, June 30, 2014

Worst Day of My Life

Again!

I'm going to translate and share another EPIC story from the internet!

I can't stop laughing after reading it and I'm going to regret for life if I don't share it with you guys!

Reading in office is highly not recommended!!!

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Title: Worst day of my life!

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Few days ago, I encountered a very troublesome problem, it was...

Overactive Bladder...

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I didn't notice it initially but it got worst and worst. Every night I woke up frequently because of my bladder, just like last night I couldn't sleep because of that.

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If I continued to ignore it, I'm going to be insane!

Thus, I took a day leave and visited to the hospital for checking.

Unfortunately, I woke up too late and didn't have time to take a poo poo.

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Having a full stomach of shit doesn't feel so great, sigh...

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It's crowded in the hospital, I had to queue for very long time.

Finally, it's my turn!

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My doctor was an uncle, he looks very kind, talks gently, after several questions, he asked me to go to the washroom to take urine sample.

After I came back from washroom, he's fully equipped with mask and glove.

Next, he ordered me to take off my pant and turned around.

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Even though he's a male doctor, I felt kind of embarrassing too, you know.

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I leaned on the wall, listening to doctor's mumbling about prostate or uncomfortable or something something...

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Wait a minute, isn't prostate located in my....

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??!!!??!!

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Then something penetrated me!

His fingers!!! Ouch!

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I always dream about the lost of my virginity someday, but I never know that it's my anal who lost its virginity first...

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Doctor's fingers were gently stirring in me...

After the initial pain, somehow a few seconds later... I felt kinda comfortable?!

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No~~ No~~

Then, I couldn't help myself and...

Ah~~ Ah~~

Moaning...

And then...

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I jizzed...

I just couldn't accept this!!!

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It's different feeling from masturbation, I can't describe the actual feeling, but it's an unwillingly orgasm...

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Looking down to my didi who was still dripping juice, I suddenly felt so useless and powerless, my tears uncontrollably shed from my eyes...

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"POP!!!"

Out of the blue, doctor pulled out his fingers.

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I took a deep breath and relived that I can finally chill out..

Is this story over?

Hell NO!!!

At the exact moment of my relieve moment...

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My anus!

No!

My sphincter to be exact, made some unexpected movement...

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I had this HOLY SHIT feel!!!

But it's too late!!!

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The poop I hold for whole day "PU PU PU PU PU" shoot out like machine gun!!!

Along with a various tones of farting sound...

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All on his face, the doctor's face...

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The doctor was very calm, probably too panic may be?!

He's emotionless...

When he confirmed that I already stopped pooping, he shouted:" Nurse!!!"

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Nurse barged in the door, staring at what she saw, she's... shocked!!!

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She's looking at my naked butt, and my penis still leaking of juices, while doctor's face was full of my poop...

Why this had to be happened on me~~~

Just let me die~~~

My tears flowed down from my eyes again...

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While the room was full of my poo poo smell, the nurse passed me a piece of tissue and told me:" Wipe wipe first~~~"

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She's.... too nice...

Wuwuwuwuwu....

Why she's so nice...

I took over the the tissue, wiped out my tears, then realized my didi still hanging with juices...

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So I wiped him too...

I didn't know what else to do...

Suddenly, I feel a little chill on my butt...

The nurse...

She's... helping me... wiping my butt...

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I didn't know where this is coming from...

I either feel extremely ashamed of myself, or highly appreciate of what she did for me...

I cried again, and this time I cried out really loud...

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I couldn't remember anything else after that, I just know that I apologized many times, sorry sorry sorry...

I paid the bill and ran out from the hospital.

I was like an innocent lost child, wandering on the street alone.

I walked into KFC and bought a set of meal.

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Munching of the chicken burger, unwillingly think of the whole incident again, then I cried again....

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Please imagine a 20+ years old guy who's eating burger with tears on his face...

Then I realized the crowd in the shop starred at me like I'm a weirdo...

Thus, I ran out from the shop with the burger still in my hand...

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I didn't even finish my Coke and fries!!!

-END-

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Hope you are entertained by the story!

Please read the original post if you understand mandarin!

Link: [搞笑趣事]有生以來最悲傷的一天

Cheers guys!

-closedown-

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